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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Getting back on the horse

Two-and-a-half years since I have updated this blog! Where does the time go? On September 9 of this year, I was 10 years sober. My coin has a big X in the middle of it. Even I can't quite believe it. When they said, "one day at a time" when I first came in, I thought they were lunatics, as if THAT was the way one got all that time. I know that won't make much sense to those who have never struggled with addiction, but the rest of you know what I mean. There had to be some trick, right, something other than not drinking for 365 days in order to get a year, and (stick with me now, you math-challenged ones) 3650 days to get 10. And yet, that is indeed what happened. One day just turned into the next into the next and because I worked the steps assiduously and with all my heart, because I expanded my spiritual life on a daily basis (to the best of my ability), because I continued to work with others, I just kept staying sober.

It has been nine years or so since I even had any desire to drink. One of the most entertaining things is to find myself going by the beer or wine aisles and thinking, "well, that's a bizarre-looking bottle, I wonder what that tastes like?" without having any desire to find out. Well...that's not quite true. I want to find out what it tastes like, but I don't have any desire to know what it's like to drink it. I also am no longer particularly perturbed about drinking or using dreams. Last night my son and and I were smoking dope together in my dream, something we never did in real life. I woke up laughing, because it was so absurd. As of this moment, a drink or a drug is about as far from likely in my life as becoming a transvestite. Well, probably less likely; I always thought that dresses were pretty and would probably feel pretty nice. I no longer even feel the need to make alcohol unwelcome in my thoughts; it just has no place, and it gets bored and leaves when I pay no attention. It's pretty cool.

Very little else has changed in 2-1/2 years, actually. My son now lives in Portland and has a way-cool girlfriend. I have now been married 29 years and am still in love with my wife. I work in the same place doing the same thing. We are coping with all of the usual flu stuff plus the H1N1 flu fun. It's going to be an entertaining flu season. All is well in Reid-land!